Tuesday, November 13, 2007

10 Ways to make Chess more Popular

1. Bring back the Cold War.

Chess popularity was at it's peak during the cold war. Many of the most famous and infamous world champions flourished during this era. The risk of total nuclear annihilation would be a worth while trade off.


2. Introduce mandatory Bread Lines everywhere.

When bread lines were a permanent fixture of the landscape in the former Soviet Union chess there was probably stronger and more popular than at any place or time in history. There has to be a definite correlation.


3. Have Cheer Leaders.

Most televised American sports would not be considered complete without cheer leaders. If we ever realistically expect to get chess televised we need to introduce some scantily clad firm thighed buxom cheer leaders, preferably female.


4. Chess Hooliganism.

An occasional riot at a chess tournament would get the game some overdue media coverage.


5. A reversed Re-Match.

Make Boris Spassky a United States citizen and have him play our arch enemy Bobby Fischer in neutral territory, say Rekjavik.


6. A good old fashioned War.

The Taliban outlawed chess among many other sports. We should take this opportunity to unleash some chess jingoism by getting the United States to invade Afghanistan.


7. Jeepies

I have never met a Phillipino who wasn't a good chess player. We need to buy army surplus jeeps, paint them in multiple colours and add lots of chrome.


8. Play for Ratings not Rating Points.
Have USCF backed Russian roulette style tournaments which work as follows.
Each time two people play each other the winner gets to keep the higher rating and the looser the lower of the two ratings. If it is a draw both players get an average of their ratings. This would allow players to get a master level rating in hours rather than years.

9. Have a Global Ban on Personal Computers.
This would bring back artisic and creative play.


10. When top level players play one another have them treat their opponents with courtesy and respect. I know the previous suggestions are easily achievable but I have to admit this one is a bit of a stretch.

7 comments:

Wahrheit said...

Outstanding work, this deserves linkage!

Pawned! said...

Ha! Good stuff. You have won a spot on my chess blogroll...

Pawned!

SamuraiPawn said...

I would second number nine any day. Welcome to the chess blogosphere!

ChargingKing said...

Thanks for the comment! I also thought this was pretty funny...light-hearted blogs are much better to read then most others. Hopefully I will see you and Pearson in the B Class soon!

BlunderProne said...

Well... aside from Chessloser adn Myslef... otehr noteworthy hooligans were the drunken fist of cuffs of Aronian and Danny Gormally over a beautiful girl:

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/osm/story/0,,1807035,00.html

Hooligans... oh WE got Hooligans

Polly said...

First of all welcome to the chess blogosphere. You're worth a link. :-)

Re: #3 Being the rare female chess blogger. I'm about the closest you'll get to a cheerleader for chess. However if a 50 something blogger from NY is not your idea of hot chess cheerleaders there's always youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Noa_G99nVHI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM5FNL0zwc0

Regarding #10: I will be posting on that very topic either tonight or tomorrow.

Pawn Shaman said...

I had a chess cheerleader once. But then their was this screaming in the basement and when I opened the door, she escaped. Oh well, next time Ill try something different. Welcome to the chessosphere. Your blogs getting popular already.